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The Votes are in and Tiger Wins Clowntown's "Clown of the Year". Sully is your pick for "Crown" as the best of people in 2009.

Top Ten Worst Nic Cage Performances of the 2000s

Top Ten Ahhh-nuuuld Movies

In Memoriam: Babu 1996-2009

Letter to God and Megaball

Handicapping the Clownies 2009

The Dark Knight wins Best Picture. Indiana Jones headlines the Clownies.... See the nominees

Obama Wins Crown of the Year; Hank Paulson/Ben Bernanke and Wall Street Are Clown of The Year

Letter to Megamillions

Hooray For The GOP

2008 Handicapping The Clownies by XAVIER!

2008 Clowntown Film Award Nominees

  2007  CLOWNTOWN AWARDS
Cage Wins Clown of the Year
The Nap Sleeps Away With The Crown

Global Warming Hoax?

august 2007 300 Wins - Impressive. But to say Tom Glavine is the last to get to 300 is uber-clown.

july 2007  Ghimraab Lists The Top 50 Creepiest 80s Songs

2007 Clowntown Film Awards

Departed Wins Best Pic, Pan's Wins Most Crowns, Cage Once Again King of all Clowns

Handicapping the Clownies 2007

Xavier Tells Us Who Will Be The Best Of The Worst

2006 Clowntown Awards Tom Cruise wins Clown of the Year
8/2/06:
The Inconvenient Truth About Hurricanes and Global Warming

7/27/06:  Top 100 + reasons the Yanks need to win another series title:

7/17/06: Clowntown sees Al Gore's new film - and he actually gets some props - but still fails to get a thumbs up

6/2/06:
Retirement Should Be Had Early In Life

5/22/06: Megamillions determined to be the key to ALL happiness in life.

2/27/06 -  Cinderella Man Takes Best Picture;  Rent, Hostage Take Worst And Clown Film

2/7/06 - Handicapping the Clownies - Part I - Who Will Win The CFA Biggest Prizes? Xavier! Predicts
2/4/06 - Shaun Alexander - Superbowl loser
2/2/06 - Why I hate Elmo - By Scummy The Clown
1/30/06:
CFA Begins: Clowntown Film Award Nominees Announced

1/9/06 - POPPYCOCK?! Cindy Sheehan Clown of the Year!

12/30/05 - 2005 In Review - Ten Points of Clowness

France Has Won! France Has Won!
That's right, France has WON something! This time they defeat Michael Jackson in the 2005 Clown-Off Finals. Congrats Frenchmen, you are the biggest clowns of all!

12/8/05:
Scummy The Clown Comments On Star Wars - The Empire Was Good And Lucas Sucks

August 2005 Clowntown Predicts the NFL Season
7/26/05 - Wedding Crashers is getting
early buzz for the Clowntown Film Awards. Vince Vaughn seems an early lock for Best Actor nod.

6/28/05: Space Ring To Help Combat Global Warming? A Quack's idea or the real thing?

Batman Begins getting rave reviews from critics and Clowntown. Will Batman follow Spiderman into Best Picture nominee land?

2/4/05: CFA Winners Announced:
Sideways wins split decision for Best Picture, Million Dollar Baby wins Best Director for Clint Eastwood

Alexander wins four, including Worst Film and earning more awards than any other film, including Crowns.

2005 CFA Nominees Announced:
The Aviator, Sideways Lead Crown Nods; Alexander, Day After Tomorrow & The Village Lead The Circus For Clowns

4/6/04: Clowntown Predicts 2004 MLB Season

Return of the Crowns: Return of the King Completes Peter Jackson's CFA Hat-Trick with a third straight Best Picture and Director Win; Gigli, Charlie's Angels are the big winners in the Clownies

Handicapping the Clownies 2004: Clown Joe Sets Odds In Another Edition of the Award Winning Series

Return of the Crowns: Lord of the Rings Seeks a Hat Trick For Best Picture in the CFA Awards; Leads All Nominees with 14, Master And Commander Pulls in 13

Charlie's Angels Breaks Record For Futility With 11 Nominations for the Clownies

1/8/04 - Sonn Dogg Retires From Clowntown - Steps Down From Clownics Review Board

Sonn Dogg, aka Sonny, aka Justin Harper has decided to retire from Clowntown as a Clownic and Board Member. Although he will miss reviewing films and being consulted on the future of Clowntown, Sonn Dogg felt it was the time to move on. "I believe to retire from clowntown, lo that I have loved it these years, but in truth, I don't have the get-up-and-go for it that I did when resigned to hours at a desk daily, know what I mean?" he said while on Yahoo Messenger with Barnum Fred. Indeed Sonny, you will be missed....

1/6/04 - France Wins Probably The Only Thing It Will Ever Win: CLOWN OF THE YEAR!

 12/23/03: Peter Jackson: Lord of the Films

12/1/03: Top 10 Scenes that were cut from ROTK that are going to be in the DVD

11/6/03: Michael Moore's Bowling For Columbine Finally Viewed By Clowntown; The Result: Contender For I Am Clown Award

10/15/03: Blue Man Group, Al Franken, Magicians and the state of California enter Hall of Clowns

7/29/03:  U.N. Resolution ACS: Welcome to the Hall of Clowns United Nations. Your constant and never ending stupidity is awaited amongst the clowns. MTV, Jerry Bruckheimer, Oprah and Woody Allen also inducted

6/12/03: Mike Tyson leads latest inductees into Hall of Clowns. JD Salinger, John Woo, and The Dixie Chicks also enter Clowntown. Tyson had the third highest point percentage despite not receiving a single first place vote. Vote History

6/9/03: Matrix Reloaded: The Suckiest Suck that Ever Sucked, says Scummy the Clown

6/2/03: Three Great Scientists Lead Latest Inductin of Hall of Crowns, Public Awaiting Next Hall of Clowns Induction

5/6/03: Hefner Leads Latest Inductees To Hall of Crowns; Harriet Tubman, Charles Darwin Enshrined

4/22/03: Introducing the Clowntown Dictionary

4/22/03: Roger Maris Inducted Into Hall of Good

4/3/02: Dark Side Prevails, Sad Day in Clowntown: ACS Gives In And Admits George Lucas Into Hall of Clowns, The Fat Ass Is In

4/1//03: CFA Review Board Names Punch-Drunk Love #1 From 2003

3/27/03: The stupid concept of work and retirement age - a Thursday Morning Commentary by Paul

3/24/03: 2003 Oscar Pool: Paul Wins Last Place For Third Straight Year

2/27/03: Clowntown Conspiracy: Clownding Fathers Survive Another Assassination Attempt

2/21/03: Two Towers Wins Best Picture, Enough, Rollerball win Worst and Clown

2/7/03: Handicapping The Clownies 2002: Scouting the Clownies: Clown Joe Gives Us the odds on the CFA Awards

2/6/03: 2003 CFA Motion Picture Award Nominees Announced
Cast Your Vote Here

2/1/03: Joe Millionaire takes first step to the Hall of Clowns: Wins Clown of January

1/10/03: Newsflash: Miami Won National Championship.. Not Ohio State says Minister G in latest Under the Big Top Commentary

1/9/03: ACS Winners: Michael Jackson is Clown of the Year, Chief Moose takes hom the Crown

1/9/03: Hall of Crowns Inducts Five: Clint Eastwood, Moses, JS Bach, John Locke and St. Nick

1/3/03: Year End ACS Nominees: Chief Moose, Emmitt Among The Crowns... Cage, France... still clown...

12/10/02: Sonn Dogg Pushes For Guns, Clint and Smokey the Bear for Hall of Crowns

12/3/02: TWIS Notes: President Diddy?

10/31/02: TWIS Notes: Wellstone Funeral Turns into a campaign frenzy. For shame!

10/11/02: The eagerly awaited Clowntown Papers debuts! First up...Socks: A Discussion

9/05/02 Clowntown Predicts 2002 NFL Season

July 23, 2002: 2002 Half-Way Awards for "Films": Outlook not good...

Under the Big Top With Minister G: A Red Sox Fan's Defense of Donnie Baseball

July 17, 2002:
The debate on global warming: Natural Trend or Evil Right Wing Conspiracy to destroy the Earth? You decide...

July 9, 2002: Five New Members Inducted Into Hall of Good- Kaat, Madlock, Cooper, John and the one, the only, the possibly gay... Keith Hernandez!!! (Not that there's anything wrong with that!!!)

June 27, 2002: Comedic Greats Jay Goo, Seinfeld inducted to Hall of Crowns; Mother Theresa first woman inducted. Thomas Jefferson and Albert Camus round out the inductees.June 7, 2002: France Becomes Hall of Clowns First Nation Inducted -- Britney Spears, Fidel Castro, Bud Selig and LBJ Also Enclowned...

4/22/02 - It's Earth Day-- Sign Up Today To Earn Your B.S. (Bull Shit) Degree in Ecology Science and Nature 

4/23/02 -- Is Travolta threatening Cage for King of All Clowns?

4/19/02 -- Mark Loretta Not That Bad

4/19/02-- Minister G's Mock 2002 NFL Draft

Top 10 Movies of 2001 Revealed

4/2/02-- Antarctica is Warming! And it is Cooling!

3/25/02-- 2002 Oscar Pool Results - PAUL Wins Last... Again

3/27/02-- 2002 ACS Baseball Predictions

Clown Fred: Pirates defeat Yankees
Clown Pat: Astros defeat A's

3/01/02-- Lord of the Rings breaks CFA record with 14 awards

March 5, 2002 - Big Dumb Hick Says He Ain't Dumb

02/25/02 - "A Betrayal" -National Review Blasts Campaign Finance Reform Bill as Unconstitutional and Counterproductive

02/20/02 - MLB: Clowntown? 

Big Dumb Hick Sounds off on the CFA Awards

02/14/02 -Ted Turner Says Terrorists Were "Brave" and Bush is the next Julius Caesar - Should Bush Thank Him?

2/08/02 - Clown Joe Handicaps The CFA Nominees

2/7/02 - Clowntown Op/Ed: NFL Parity Is Bringing The Super Bowl To Clowntown Says Clown Pat

2/6/02 - Under the Big Top:
Patriot Games - The Patriots were the best team in the NFL says Minister G

01/23/02- Clowntown Awards Winners Announced: Vince McMahon is The First Ever ACS Clown of the Year!

Bettor's Battle:  Season ends with a whimper-- Clown Fred wins despite Clown Joe having best record 

1/04/02 - Hall of Good Inducts Four: Jack Morris, Bill Buckner, Willie Randolph, and Lee Smith

1/2/02  - Global Warming or Not? Penguins trapped due to enlarged Antarctic Glaciers... Come on Environmental Clowns...

12/27 - ACS Announces Gramatica Brothers as December's Clowns of the Month 

12/19 - Inaugural Hall of Crowns: Our Founding Father, The Gipper, The Chairman of the Board, The Sultan of Swat and Ji-Ji-Jimmy...12/19: Ho's Bro's & 40 O's-- Commentary By Brandon Gipson

12/18 - Under the Big Top: Foreign Policy: Browns' Owners Are Clown

Hall of Clowns Welcomes Newest Members: Karl Malone, Al Sharpton, Environmental Scientists, Nate Newton and J-Lo