august 2007
300 Wins - Impressive. But to say Tom
Glavine is the last to get to 300 is uber-clown.
july 2007
Ghimraab Lists The Top 50 Creepiest 80s
Songs
2007 Clowntown Film Awards
Departed Wins Best Pic, Pan's Wins Most Crowns, Cage Once Again King of all
Clowns
Handicapping the Clownies 2007
Xavier Tells Us Who Will Be The Best Of The Worst
2006 Clowntown Awards Tom Cruise wins
Clown of the Year
8/2/06:
The Inconvenient Truth About Hurricanes and Global Warming
7/27/06: Top 100 + reasons the Yanks need
to win another series title:
7/17/06:
Clowntown sees Al Gore's new film - and
he actually gets some props - but still fails to get a thumbs up
6/2/06:
Retirement Should Be Had Early In Life
5/22/06:
Megamillions determined to be the key to ALL happiness in life.
2/27/06 -
Cinderella Man Takes Best
Picture;
Rent, Hostage Take Worst And Clown Film
2/7/06 -
Handicapping the
Clownies - Part I - Who Will Win The CFA Biggest Prizes? Xavier! Predicts
2/4/06 -
Shaun Alexander -
Superbowl loser
2/2/06 -
Why I hate Elmo -
By Scummy The Clown
1/30/06:
CFA Begins: Clowntown Film Award Nominees Announced
1/9/06 -
POPPYCOCK?!
Cindy Sheehan Clown of the Year!
12/30/05 - 2005 In
Review - Ten Points of Clowness
France Has Won!
France Has Won!
That's right, France has WON something!
This time they defeat Michael Jackson in the
2005 Clown-Off Finals.
Congrats Frenchmen, you are the biggest clowns of all!
12/8/05:
Scummy The Clown Comments
On Star Wars - The Empire Was Good And Lucas Sucks
August 2005
Clowntown Predicts the NFL Season
7/26/05 - Wedding Crashers is getting
early buzz for the Clowntown Film Awards.
Vince Vaughn seems an early lock for Best Actor nod.
6/28/05:
Space Ring
To Help Combat Global Warming? A Quack's idea or the real thing?
Batman Begins getting rave reviews from critics and Clowntown. Will
Batman follow Spiderman into Best Picture nominee land?
2/4/05: CFA Winners
Announced:
Sideways wins split decision for Best Picture, Million Dollar Baby wins Best
Director for Clint Eastwood
Alexander wins four, including Worst Film and earning more awards
than any other film, including Crowns.
2005 CFA Nominees
Announced:
The Aviator, Sideways Lead Crown Nods; Alexander, Day After Tomorrow & The
Village Lead The Circus For Clowns
4/6/04: Clowntown Predicts 2004 MLB Season
Return of the Crowns: Return of the King Completes
Peter Jackson's CFA Hat-Trick with a third straight Best Picture and
Director Win; Gigli, Charlie's Angels are the big winners in the Clownies
Handicapping the Clownies 2004: Clown Joe
Sets Odds In Another Edition of the Award Winning Series
Return of the Crowns: Lord of the Rings Seeks
a Hat Trick For Best Picture in the CFA Awards; Leads All Nominees with 14,
Master And Commander Pulls in 13
Charlie's Angels Breaks Record For Futility
With 11 Nominations for the Clownies
1/8/04 - Sonn Dogg Retires
From Clowntown - Steps Down From Clownics Review Board
Sonn Dogg, aka Sonny,
aka Justin Harper has decided to retire from Clowntown as a Clownic and
Board Member. Although he will miss reviewing films and being consulted on
the future of Clowntown, Sonn Dogg felt it was the time to move on. "I
believe to retire from clowntown, lo that I have loved it these years, but
in truth, I don't have the get-up-and-go for it that I did when resigned to
hours at a desk daily, know what I mean?" he said while on Yahoo Messenger
with Barnum Fred. Indeed Sonny, you will be missed....
1/6/04 -
France Wins Probably The Only Thing It
Will Ever Win: CLOWN OF THE YEAR!
12/23/03:
Peter Jackson: Lord of the Films
12/1/03: Top 10 Scenes that
were cut from ROTK that are going to be in the DVD
11/6/03: Michael Moore's
Bowling For Columbine Finally Viewed By Clowntown; The Result: Contender For
I Am Clown Award
10/15/03: Blue Man Group, Al Franken,
Magicians and the state of California enter Hall of Clowns
7/29/03:
U.N. Resolution ACS: Welcome to the Hall of Clowns
United Nations. Your constant and never ending stupidity is awaited amongst
the clowns. MTV, Jerry Bruckheimer, Oprah and Woody Allen also inducted
6/12/03:
Mike Tyson leads latest inductees into Hall of Clowns.
JD Salinger, John Woo, and The Dixie Chicks also enter Clowntown.
Tyson had the third highest point percentage despite not receiving a single
first place vote.
Vote History
6/9/03: Matrix Reloaded: The Suckiest Suck that Ever
Sucked, says Scummy the Clown
6/2/03:
Three Great Scientists Lead Latest Inductin
of Hall of Crowns, Public Awaiting Next Hall of Clowns Induction
5/6/03:
Hefner Leads Latest Inductees To Hall of Crowns;
Harriet Tubman, Charles Darwin Enshrined
4/22/03:
Introducing the Clowntown Dictionary
4/22/03:
Roger Maris Inducted Into Hall of Good
4/3/02:
Dark Side Prevails, Sad Day in Clowntown: ACS Gives In
And Admits George Lucas Into Hall of Clowns, The Fat Ass Is In
4/1//03:
CFA Review Board Names Punch-Drunk Love #1
From 2003
3/27/03:
The stupid concept of work and retirement age - a
Thursday Morning Commentary by Paul
3/24/03:
2003 Oscar Pool: Paul Wins Last Place For
Third Straight Year
2/27/03:
Clowntown Conspiracy: Clownding Fathers Survive
Another Assassination
Attempt
2/21/03:
Two Towers Wins Best Picture, Enough,
Rollerball win Worst and Clown
2/7/03:
Handicapping The Clownies 2002: Scouting the
Clownies: Clown Joe Gives Us the odds on the CFA Awards
2/6/03:
2003 CFA
Motion Picture Award Nominees Announced
Cast Your Vote Here
2/1/03:
Joe
Millionaire takes first step to the Hall of Clowns: Wins Clown of January
1/10/03:
Newsflash: Miami Won National Championship.. Not Ohio
State says Minister G in latest Under the Big Top Commentary
1/9/03:
ACS Winners: Michael Jackson is Clown of the Year,
Chief Moose takes hom the Crown
1/9/03:
Hall of Crowns Inducts Five: Clint Eastwood,
Moses, JS Bach, John Locke and St. Nick
1/3/03: Year End ACS Nominees:
Chief Moose, Emmitt Among The Crowns... Cage, France... still clown...
12/10/02: Sonn Dogg Pushes For Guns, Clint and Smokey
the Bear for Hall of Crowns
12/3/02: TWIS Notes: President Diddy?
10/31/02: TWIS Notes: Wellstone Funeral Turns into a
campaign frenzy. For shame!
10/11/02: The eagerly awaited Clowntown Papers debuts!
First up...Socks: A Discussion
9/05/02
Clowntown Predicts
2002 NFL Season
