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2003 Clowntown Year End Awards

France Wins Probably The Only Thing It Will Ever Win: CLOWN OF THE YEAR!

'Viva la France' he cheered, a smarmy old Frenchman said as he sauntered down the streets of Main Street, Oneonta. Maquis du Fromage was in the 'States', as is fond of describing them as, for a protest against the evils of Republicans, George Bush and microwave ovens. "The Citizens Alternative Voice said these ovens will destroy the earth, so I think we as people of this planet have a duty to come together and rid this evil of le monde". We then told him his country won Clown of the Year for Clowntown. "Whaaaaaaat!?" he said in Moe Szylack style, and then remained in a stupor for a good 5 or 6 days.

 So France has won Clown of the Year. It beat out the CAV, Michael Jackson, Ben Affleck, and Howard Dean. All four will surely be back for another shot for the clowniest of awards.

   Crown of the Year was won by the U.S. Soldier, and that includes Captain Mike Zizza a member of the Clowntown Society. It was a good 2003 for Cpt. Zizza, "First I win the Clowntown Fantasy Baseball League and now this. Life is good." Another Clowntown native, Shane Gregory, took home the surprise win for Local Clown of the Year, beating out annual nominees CAV and Tom Grace. "I did wha? I don't know what that is, but I ahm go-ing down to tha Dragonfly for a drink."

  Word of the Year was won by "INDEED". When we told Indeed about its accomplishment it replied with just one word... you guessed it ... 'Indeeeeeeeed!"

  The Excellence in Journalism Award was won by Paul Obidinski and Pat Muller for their Federalist Papers-style treatist entitled The stupid concept of work and retirement age. This will surely be a classic for many generations as they look back and realize that the Clownding Fathers had it right-- work is stupid.

Clown of the Year Crown of the Year
  Michael Jackson     George W. Bush  
  Ben Affleck     Peter Jackson  
**** France     Carmelo Anthony  
  Howard Dean   **** U.S. Soldier (including Captain Mike Zizza)
  Jennifer Lopez     Michael Savage  
Local Clown of the Year Word of the Year
  Tom Grace/Uncle Chet   **** Indeed  
  Citizens Alternative Voice     Brilliant  
**** Shane Gregory     Stupid  
  Mark Centofante     Nincompoopery  
  Bob Lindroth     Megamillions  
Excellence in Journalism      
**** Stupid Concept of Work - Paul Obidinski/Pat Muller  
  Handicapping the Clownies - Joe Muller      
  Gigli - Scummy the Clown      

Clowntown Fathers In Jeopardy? - Fred Muller

  Lord of the Films - Joe Muller      
  The Matrix Reloaded - Scummy the Clown