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January 2003 February 2003 March 2003
Joe Millionaire Michael Jackson Michael Moore
Uh, yeah, uh, duh, me have no money. Me have no big house. Me clown. The real story of his wackiness exposed. Protest the war all you want, you're still a big fat clown.

April 2003 May 2003 June 2003
France Sultaana Freeman Spike Lee
Nous sans clowne... Once known as Sandra Kellar and arrested for domestic abuse: go  back to the trailer park from whence you came. SPIKE TV does not = Spike Lee. Spike Lee, however, does = Clown

July 2003 August 2003 September 2003
GoVeg.com Jennifer Warner Charles McKinley

Karin Robertson, now officially known as GoVeg.com, is seen outside the office where she works in Norfolk, Va., Thursday, July 24, 2003. Robertson legally changed her name to GoVeg.com, which is the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) website address. Robertson said the point wasn't to necessarily promote PETA, but to get people talking about vegetarianism and animal rights when showing her new driver's license at the airport, the bank or just about anywhere else.

Secret of Finding Happiness Explained
Your name is a "Dot com"? Then you are clown She is right, money is not the key to happiness. Megamillions is the key to ALL happiness. If you ship yourself as cargo, don't complain about the comfort of the ride. You are cargo, and you are clown....

October 2003 November 2003 December 2003
Cubs' Fans Howard Dean Steve Spurrier
Ahead in the  game, 5 outs to go to win the NLCS. Cheering and yelling and saying "Finally!" and then "the catch". Then, sobbing... Well, just look at him. And a  month later he says that the U.S. is no better off after our capture of Saddam Hussein.  He was going to revolutionize the NFL. Or was it he was going to clownify the NFL?